Year of Pranks
by Kittycorn
Summary: Fred and George have competition: the Chaos Club. This year will be a year of chaos, and a year of pranks. AU, some characters borrowed from the Chaos stories.


Disclaimer: We do not own any characters from Harry Potter. We probably do own any characters you don't recognize. This story was brought to you by Lightning, Kittycorn, and Friday. This is an alternate universe fic, so it won't necessarily follow the storyline.

It was the last day of summer, but for Toby this did not mean the last day of freedom. Quite the opposite, in fact. This was the last day of doing magic in secret, where his Muggle neighbors wouldn't see. He didn't worry about his parents too much; Mum never minded when he did magic outside of school, unless a Muggle might be watching, and Dad only reprimanded him when Dad saw him doing magic. Dad was always trying to catch him doing magic, but it was only to train him to keep from getting caught. Dad got into trouble during each of the seven years he'd been at Hogwarts than most people did in a lifetime—even more than the average prankster.

            This would be his fifth year, and he couldn't wait. Now he could do magic whenever he wanted, in the halls even as long as Filch wasn't around. Mrs. Norris wasn't a problem; during his first year he'd discovered that she could be bribed with kitty treats. Once again he scanned his list of pranks, trying to think of another one that he could add. Lots of Fred and George torture, a couple pranks to play on his buddy Peeves, and pages of ways to annoy his teachers. But there weren't enough for Snape. He needed about twice that many, making 36 pranks to play on Snivelly, as his cousin Mike's old friend James Potter used to call him. One for each week of the year. He laughed a bit as he ran his eyes down the list.

Make Malfoy's potion explode. Put Veritaserum in Snape's drink. Call him Snivelly. Recite the Marauder's Map's message to him. Put pictures of him wearing Longbottom's grandmother's clothes all over the school. Wear garlic in his classroom. Whenever he says something, just smile and nod. If he tries to take points away, yell "TO" really loud when he's saying "from." Alternatively, yell "SLYTHERIN!" when he says "Ravenclaw." Steal all his Potions ingredients. Switch the labels on his Potions ingredients. Ask him why Lockhart got the Defense Against the Dark Arts job instead of him. Ask him when he and Malfoy started dating. Make yourself look like James Potter and see if he faints with relief. Secretly change all the grades he gives to Slytherins to zero, and the grades for all the other Houses to 100%. [Kaula wouldn't like that one, but Toby could make an exception for her.] Change all his robes to red and gold. Ask him why he wants the DADA job so much when so far there have been two Death Eaters, a werewolf, and Lockhart as DADA teachers. Conclude that if he gets the job he must be a Death Eater, an incompetent, or a vampire. 

He needed nineteen more, if he wanted to have one for each week. Oh well. Perhaps he should just play one prank each day, total. He might have enough, what with all his ways to annoy other teachers, especially McGonagall, who was one of his favorites, but also a favorite target. He had about fifty ways to annoy her already, and would probably think of more during the course of the year.

            Carefully he packed his trunk. Way down in the bottom he put his list of pranks, along with Filibuster's Fireworks, his own home-made exploding dumgbombs, illegal Potions ingredients, a copy of Filch's list of banned items (so he could buy them all during his first trip to Hogsmeade; they wouldn't fit in his trunk), the map of the school that he was keeping for the young Ravenclaw girl Mera because she didn't want her parents to discover it, several fake wands he'd made himself after studying the one he'd bought from the Weasley twins last year, his collection of paint-bombs, his pranks kit, his invisibility cloak (a gift from Uncle Tobias), his costumes, and his counterfeit money (only to be given to other students). On top of all that he placed the fake bottom of the trunk, in case they searched his trunk again. They'd done that last year, just because he'd brought a bunch of banned items his third year; but this year, if any banned items appeared, the Weasleys would get the blame, and Gryffindor would lose points. He would have fit right in with the Slytherins, for he truly did use any means to achieve his ends. He'd be using trickery this year to make the Gryffindors lose points—but it was justified, since Dumbledore seemed to favor the Gryffindorks. Ravenclaw should have won the House Cup these past four years, but Snape favored the Stinkerins and Dumbledore favored the Gryffindorks, so Ravenclaw came in third place. But this year would be different.

            Smirking, Toby finished packing. "Darn!" he muttered when he realized his books wouldn't all fit. Oh well. He could put some of them in another bag and carry them with him onto the train.

The next day dawned bright and clear, and Dad drove Toby to King's Cross Station. There were a lot of Muggles there, and Toby looked rather odd lugging his trunk behind him, his book-bag slung over his shoulder, and his cat, Tommy, following at his heels. Tommy was a very useful cat, and not just because he was part Kneazle, making him even more intelligent than a normal cat. Tommy could carry messages for him, albeit slower than an owl, but Tommy wouldn't be noticed by Muggles nor would anyone think to look for a message carried by a cat.

            Toby didn't even need his wand to pull off the trick of disappearing into the background. It was just a matter of concentrating on his surroundings, becoming one with them, quite a useful trick when one wanted to avoid notice. He'd found a spell that enhanced the effect, making people walk around him without realizing he was there, but it was enough for now just to keep people from thinking him odd. Without the spell, they would remember later that there had been an odd boy at the station, but they wouldn't remember what he looked like. With the spell, they wouldn't remember him at all.

            Casually, he walked right through the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Any Muggles watching would notice something odd, but they wouldn't quite be able to place their finger on what it was. Wizards wouldn't even notice that much.

            Once on Platform 9 ¾, he looked for his friends, Kaula and Kitty. "Hey Kaula!" he called when he spotted her, over on the other side of the platform. Tommy ran over to sniff noses with Kaula's pure-black cat. Toby followed the tomcat at a slower pace. "How was your summer?"

            "Boring," Kaula replied. "I didn't have any victims to play pranks on."

            "Well, we'll have an abundance of victims back at school," Toby said with a grin and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He lowered his voice. "Plus the Chaos Club is growing. Mera finally agreed to let me in, after I told her I knew she was Lightning. You're in, too, and Kitty if she wants. All my cousins are in, as well." Mera's other identity, Lightning, was supposed to be known only to the members of the Chaos Club, but last year Toby had figured it out. He'd also accepted her explanation that Black was innocent, which earned him several points in her book. Heck, Cousin Mike had always told him that he couldn't believe that Sirius Black turned out to be a Death Eater and Pettigrew became a hero. Sure, there must have been some reason that Pettigrew was in Gryffindor, but it still didn't make sense. Black's personality didn't make for a good spy. If he'd been a Death Eater, he would have let the entire world know. Cousin Mike should know—he'd been a good friend of Potter, James, and Lupin at school.

            "So who's our first victim?" Kaula asked, intrigued.

            "That kid," Toby responded, pointing at a fifth-year Slytherin basking in the center of attention. He had rather pale skin, glossy black hair, and delicate features. "Darcy Leroy."

Darcy turned upon hearing his name. Oh, it was one of the Stormwinds. There were too many of them; they bred like the Weasleys. Acted like the Weasleys, too, at least like those twins, Fred and George. Their only redeeming quality was the fact that most of them were in Ravenclaw, which was actually a pretty cool House, and a few had even been in Slytherin. The one who was pointing at him he recognized as Toby Stormwind, son of that git Tony Stormwind whom Father often complained about. Toby wasn't quite as bad as his dad, from what Darcy gleaned from Father's descriptions, and he hadn't gotten into any major trouble yet, but Darcy decided to keep an eye on him nonetheless. He could give the Weasley twins a run for their money yet. Certainly Tony had been worse than Potter and Black.

            Kaula May, the pretty Slytherin girl with whom Stormwind was speaking, grinned maliciously while looking in Darcy's direction. Darcy didn't know her very well because she tended to hang out with the uncool Slytherins, the ones who tried to enforce the rules and refused to do things on moral grounds. Maybe he should get to know her better, though. She seemed the coolest of the lot, and Darcy figured he'd better make some friends among them if he didn't want to be left floundering now that the Dark Lord was back. All his old friends would now be supporting the Dark Lord, and Darcy would be on the other side. Oh, he agreed with the Dark Lord on just about everything—except who should rule the world. He wasn't about to help the Dark Lord take over, when he could rule the world himself. The Dark Lord would mess it all up, besides. Look at the mess he'd made of opening the Chamber of Secrets! Why, he'd gotten the Basilisk killed, and hadn't even managed to get rid of an annoying twelve-year-old. Darcy himself would have done better. Darcy was a pureblood; the Dark Lord, being only a half-blood, would never be able to get things right. Darcy had the advantage, though, in that nobody knew he was Slytherin's heir. The Leroys had moved to Spain hundreds of years ago to escape persecution, and there weren't very many of them to start out with. Now there was only Darcy, and a few relatives back in Spain. His parents didn't know that the Dark Lord was a half-blood, and they weren't going to take Darcy's word for it, but Darcy knew, and he wasn't about to let a mere half-blood boss him around.

            "Hello there, Leroy." It was Malfoy, the only one who came close to competing with Darcy in looks. "You ready for the Dark Lord's return?" Malfoy was a bully, but he'd be just another weakling without a bigger bully to back him up. Then again, he was a useful friend.

            "I'm ready," Darcy lied. "Potter is done for." _The Dark Lord is done for. He couldn't beat Potter when Potter was eleven, he botched killing Potter last year—but most of the purebloods will follow him. As much as I hate mudbloods, I might just have to recruit some of them. I'll definitely need some half-blood followers. I guess I can just keep the leadership positions open for purebloods._

Laura Rianhardt tried to ignore the buzz of thought as she wove through the crowd toward the train. Most people told her how blessed she was, possessing the gift of mind-reading, but she considered it more of a curse. To make matters worse, her twin sister, a Hufflepuff, who also had the ability, believed that it was truly a gift.

            "Laura, please don't be so negative," Sarah requested. "You know that being able to read minds lets us know what's really wrong with people so we can help them." _Why can't she understand?_

Laura ignored her sister and concentrated on avoiding certain groups. The Slytherins almost always had unpleasant thoughts, and the Stormwinds were to be avoided whenever possible, so she wouldn't catch whatever mental disease ran in that family. She wondered whether it was possible to transfer to Hufflepuff, so she wouldn't have to be in the same House as any Stormwinds. But no, the Hufflepuffs all had their own mental disease, which was that they had to help anyone in need. Even the Stormwinds were better than that.

            She was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she was almost upon a group of Slytherins before she realized it, and by then it was too late. She hurried off as fast as she could, but picked up Leroy's thoughts despite all her efforts not to.

            _The Dark Lord is done for. He couldn't beat Potter when Potter was eleven, he botched killing Potter last year—but most of the purebloods will follow him. As much as I hate mudbloods, I might just have to recruit some of them. I'll definitely need some half-blood followers. I guess I can just keep the leadership positions open for purebloods._

            What was this? A Slytherin planning to fight Voldemort? Part of her mind still recoiled from thinking the name, but it was her own private protest against the burden fate had placed on her shoulders. It was so annoying when people's thoughts shied away from the name. Even this Slytherin, who obviously was unimpressed by Voldemort's powers, dared not think the name.

Finally she got onto the train and found her friend, Kitty Jones, in an otherwise empty compartment. Kitty was an island of sanity in a sea of madness. Kitty was a year older than she was, but neither of them cared. They were good friends, and hopefully always would be. At least there was one good part to being able to read minds: she could forestall any misunderstandings among her friends. Another benefit was being able to tell if a boy liked her, though so far she hadn't found any she really liked back. If she ever had a boyfriend, she wanted him to be the type of person who wouldn't mind her ability to read minds.

"You look frayed around the edges," Kitty observed. "What happened to you?"

"Nightmares," Laura replied.

"Yours or other people's?" Kitty asked. Kitty was the one person she trusted with her secret, because Kitty had already proven her ability to keep secrets. Kitty hardly ever thought about the fact that the mysterious Lightning was really their fellow Ravenclaw Emerald Jones, who happened to share Kitty's last name. Kitty's one fault was that she was overly curious, which led to her discovery of Lightning's true identity last year. She had told no one, not even Laura, her best friend. Her reasons were sound: Emerald was really a good kid—her other identity wasn't hurting anyone—and she must have good reasons for not telling anyone, other than a wish that she wouldn't get in trouble. Laura herself knew Emerald's reasons, and they were good: Lightning's purpose was to discover things that Emerald could not discover without breaking rules, but that the discovery of which would justify the means of discovery. For instance, if there were anything suspicious going on, especially if one of the teachers were involved, Lightning could investigate without fear of getting into trouble, for if someone saw Lightning, wearing that mask, there would be no indication of who Lightning really was. That wasn't to say that Emerald never did anything that was just plain naughty when disguised as Lightning, but one couldn't have everything.

"Mine," Laura answered. "I dreamed that I got caught in the middle of a secret meeting of the Stormwinds where they were discussing prank ideas. Then I was somehow transported to the Slytherin common room, where the Slytherins were thinking evil thoughts about Muggle-borns, and they were gloating over how all the Muggle-borns will die now that You-Know-Who is back." She tried not to speak the name aloud, since then she would have to feel the other person's shock at hearing it.

"So You-Know-Who really is back?" Kitty asked. She felt relieved._ Good, our hero isn't losing his mind._ "I thought so, but I didn't know whether to believe that the government was mental, or Potter was." _As per usual, it's the government._

"Like I said last year, Potter really saw him. He was not hallucinating, either." That was a drawback of her "gift": if someone hallucinated, but thought it was real, she would not be able to tell the difference either. But Potter hadn't hallucinated; his memory of the event was too coherent.

Meanwhile, several members of the Chaos Club had squeezed into a compartment. "Here's the deal," Mera said, her expression serious. "We need to stick together, all of us, and we can't afford to alienate others. That means no harmful pranks, except on the Voldemort supporters. Fun pranks are fine; laughter will help us defeat Voldemort. But nothing that will hurt anyone on our side."

            Rachel Smith, a second-year Hufflepuff and the only sane member of the Chaos Club, took a deep breath and spoke up. "We have a problem. A minor one, but still a problem. There are people at this school who can read minds."

            Jim Johnson, the Gryffindor who just _knew_ things, looked slightly startled. The others' reactions varied from going pale to staring in disbelief, mouths hanging open. Zachary Taylor, the original Slytherin in the club, and Mera, the leader, appeared to be thinking fast. "We need to know who these mind-readers are," Zach said, "and whether any of them are on our side. I have a possible way of throwing them off: think crazy thoughts, and they'll run away before they go mad." He grinned. "Remember last year, when I started talking to Malfoy about infinity?"

            Mera smiled fondly at the memory. "Ah, yes, and how there's infinity raised to the infinity, but that's still equal to infinity in a way, but then you get to alef-one, which is not equal to infinity, and is to infinity as infinity is to one. Malfoy ran away screaming for his daddy, as I recall."

            The people gathered there all laughed. None of them had any reason to be fond of Malfoy, not even Kaula.

            Suddenly, Jim turned very pale. "We have another problem. A major problem," he announced. "Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is going to be a demon from hell." The way he said it let Toby know better than to take him literally, but that didn't help too much. No one, not even Jim, had ever called Snape a demon. Imagining a teacher worse than Snape made Toby very, very scared.

            "We need a plan," Mera said. "The more complicated, the better. We don't want to get caught, and we don't want any Death Eaters to guess our objectives."

            "Why not act like we actually believe that nonsense they've been printing in the Daily Prophet?" Kaula suggested. "Or at least some of us could; others could do their best to annoy Potter in other ways, like bowing to him whenever he walks by."

            "Definitely," agreed a girl Toby didn't quite recognize. "We can do any insane thing we can think of, and others will dismiss us as just a bunch of crazy kids. They'll underestimate us. But we'll also have to establish our credibility with those people we know are on the side of good. Best do that using our alternate identities. Yes, I know the Club identities are supposed to be the unreliable ones, but we can't use our real identities for this purpose, and we can't use the Club identities for making our adversaries underestimate us."

            "You're right, Candra," Mera agreed, and suddenly Toby recognized the girl: Candra Phelan, a fellow Ravenclaw. "On all accounts. Our job must be to create chaos."

            "All hail Mera, Queen of Chaos!"

            "Prankster!"

            "Friday!"

            "Insanity!"

            "Python!"

            "Raven!"

            "Ringwraith!" (The others gave the one who shouted this rather odd, confused looks, except Rachel, who shared with him a knowing grin.)

            "Hurricane!"

            Several people began to shout their nicknames at once, and none could be made out until the last four:

            "Lightning!"

            "Thunder!"

            "Moonbeam!"

            "Burn!"

            All together, everyone cried, "GO CHAOS!"


End file.
